When using any public restroom, the appearance of graffiti on the walls is unavoidable.

What starts out as the “couple minutes” out of class that you promised your teacher turns into 10 minutes spent reading the rants of past visitors. These artists and authors give a whole new meaning to the term “potty mouth.”  

For the next few weeks, I will be highlighting the best-of-the-best graffiti in the bathrooms of Nicholls. For obvious reasons, not everything is considered appropriate for this paper, but I will be sure to tell you where to find the writings that are considered too risky. This week begins where most students start their career at Nicholls, Peltier Hall. WARNING: this is not for the faint-of-heart.

It would take a novel to write about every single racial comment, fraternity versus fraternity battle or attempts to draw certain parts of the male body, so this article will be reserved for the most clever and noteworthy. The location of each “work” will be listed in the following format:  the first number will represent the floor of the bathroom. The next character will be an M or a W to represent the gender of the restroom. The final number will represent the stall, and will be arranged in the order that you pass each.

The journey starts in the men’s room on the first floor. This restroom is mostly free of graffiti, and you can tell that whatever was written was covered with paint. There are, however, some things that are written over the paint. An example is a student’s attempt to draw a dinosaur in stall two.

The second floor more than makes up for the lack of content on the first floor.

The second floor men’s room is filled with a variety of subjects, including religion, politics and even superheroes.

The first thing to catch my eye in stall 2M2 is written in red:

“By Royal Decree:  ‘TP’ shall hence forth be referred to as ‘Terrance & Phillip.'”

Although I have had my doubts of superheroes existing in real life, stall two put my worries to rest with the presence of the trademark “double D’s” of the blind superhero, Daredevil.

Despite the location of the writing, major amounts of the graffiti in the bathrooms are based on religion.

“And where in lies the soul of Man? Religion is broken, but faith is true—Jesus,” one student wrote.

The next bit of religious graffiti is pretty well hidden and is found written in pencil on the side of the toilet paper dispenser. It is hardly legible because of smearing. What I could make out was what looked like a prayer. Underneath this prayer, however, is a response:

“Corinthians 2:14. Thou shall testify on thy bathroom toilet paper dispenser. Amen.”

While this is obviously not written in the Bible, I can’t help but agree that a bathroom toilet paper dispenser is not the proper place to preach about religion.

The final writing of this stall is simple and to the point:

“I did not come here to read, I came here to use the bathroom.” Apparently this student was also there to contribute to the graffiti.

Stall three has definitely seen its fair share of marking, but the majority of the writing is faded and deemed unreadable. The few legible writings, however, dub this the religious stall.

“God is with us at all times. Just ask for help,” one student wrote.

Another wrote, “Life is more than sex. Repent!”

The final stall is easily the funniest and cleverest. The first thing to catch my eye is the very obvious, “Jesus listens to Slayer and Pearl Jam.”

The next writing turns to politics. One student writes, “I love Barack Obama!” This is later commented with, “I hate Obama!” and finally, “I’m indifferent to Obama.” At least we know we have versatility in our bathroom political views. This “discussion” is ended with, “Bathroom stalls, or inappropriate canvases for political views? Go home.”

The rest of the graffiti occupying this stall is considered “not safe for school,” but I can guarantee you a few laughs in stall 2M4.

While many people may think that graffiti is limited to the men’s room, the ladies are not quite off the hook. With the help of a “non-fellow” member of the Nicholls Worth, the content of the women’s room has been revealed.

Like the men’s room on the first floor, the women’s room is completely free of graffiti but is made up for by the second floor.

Before I try to explain every single thing that is on the walls of this bathroom, I will tell you that almost every stall is filled with arguments about religion and sexual orientation. Instead, I will bring light to the other writings.

Stall 2W2 begins with the quote, “To hell with budget cuts! Legalize marijuana!”

The next group of writing is one of the funniest altercations so far. One student writes, “I HATE COLLEGE,” which is answered with, “Shut up. If you don’t like it, quit. Stop complaining,” which is also answered by, “‘your’ dumb. Let ‘peple’ say what they want!”

 One student then corrected the spelling of the above comment for using “your” instead of “you’re” and “peple” instead of “people.” At least we know someone is making grammar a priority.

Next up is stall 2W3, and if you can look past the abundance of ink wasted on arguing, you can find a very funny quote.

“Chicken, pot, pie:  my three favorite things.”

We now come to the final stall of Peltier Hall, stall 2W5. This is where politics makes its first appearance in the women’s room:

“Obama 08 is a joke! Impeach him! It’s already too late to save America from him!”

This is answered to with what is obviously the most clever and mature way to respond.

“Your face is a joke!”

The next quote turns back to the subject of religion.

“Jesus is the only way!” one student wrote, or at least that’s what it used to say until someone scratched out, “Jesus is,” and replaced it with, “Cheetos are,” to form the phrase, “Cheetos are the only way!” Thanks for clearing that up.

The final quote of stall 2W5 is from a student who was fed up with arguing.

“The reason we can’t have nice things in this school is because stupid people write on walls. Childish!” Oh, the irony.

While pretty much every bit of graffiti read gave me a good laugh or two, one stood up above all the rest, which is why I have saved it for last. It is one of the only legible quotes in the men’s room on the first floor and reads, “I wrote on the bathroom wall. Take THAT, society!”

There is obviously so much graffiti in Peltier Hall that it single-handedly took up an entire article. Next week will feature the best-of-the-best from the other halls of Nicholls.