Hopefully by this point in the semester most of you have figured out that this is a sex column, as if the headline itself doesn’t reveal that already. This column focuses on sex itself as well as things sexual in nature, but what exactly is sex anyway? Dictionary definitions of sex regard it as genital contact between two organisms. However, I believe sex is not limited to just genitalia.

Since beginning college, I have had multiple people tell me that they have regularly engaged in anal sex with their partner in an attempt to put off losing their virginity. My issue with that logic begins with the fact that the term “anal sex” already uses the word sex. Another interesting note is that if anal sex isn’t sex, do all gay men keep their virginity indefinitely?
The most common reason I have found that people disregard anal sex, oral sex and other non-definitional sexual activities as not being “real sex” is because their religious beliefs teach to wait until marriage to have sex. While not all of these people planned on waiting that long, most wanted the real thing to happen with someone they felt they would eventually marry at the least.

In my opinion, anyone who disregards any sexual activity as sex is ultimately lying to himself or herself. Telling yourself these things aren’t big deals may be fun and help you give in to temptation without all of the guilt, but they should not be done carelessly. If religion is your motivation for remaining abstinent, I ask you to ask yourself if you truly think that just because a penis is not entering a vagina that you are in the clear. Above maintaining personal moral standards, it’s also important to remember that sexually transmitted diseases can result from both oral and anal sex as well.

I don’t ultimately think there’s anything wrong with any type of sex, as long as both of the people engaged are okay with what is happening. I just imagine that downplaying what you are engaging in so you feel okay about it is likely to have repercussions at some point. It may be when you get caught by your religious mother, as I’m sure she’ll agree that what you’re doing is “sex.” It may be when you finally meet the person you want to marry and can’t tell them you’re a virgin without having a sour taste in your mouth. It may never happen because, let’s be honest, I can’t predict or assess every single situation of every life out there.

Honesty is always the best policy, or at least that’s what I hear, and being honest with yourself is a huge part of that. Being yourself is important, just make sure you’re willing to face who that is.