While I have been hearing that this column is gaining some popularity on campus, and that certainly feeds my ego slightly, I’d like to talk about a man whose sexual publications have received far more recognition than mine almost certainly ever will: Hugh Hefner. Now, I understand our jobs themselves are hardly in the same category, and I doubt I’d ever want to put my work in Playboy to begin with. However, no one can deny Hefner’s success financially and perhaps even romantically.

Hefner has been married to Crystal Harris, after calling off their first engagement in 2011 five days before the wedding, for almost two years now. The intriguing part about their marriage, besides it being a celebrity relationship, is the age difference between these two sweethearts. Hefner and Harris have an age difference of 60 years. Now that is extreme, I’d say! Yet, relationships between people with varying age gaps are not uncommon in the world of celebrities or everyday people. This brings me to the real topic of this week’s column (sorry, Hefner): age disparity in sexual relationships.

According to the United States 2013 Current Population Survey, most married couples have an age difference of one year. This does not nullify the amount of men who date younger women or the somewhat recent “cougar” crowd of women who date younger men. Homosexuality isn’t strictly for those close in age either. If these relationships are out there, why do extremely closely aged marriages constitute the majority?

In my opinion, in cases of a gap of ten years or more, the younger person may view the older person as a mentor. They want to learn things, have new experiences and receive opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise have. The issue is that as the young person grows and adjusts, their need for the older person to act as a mentor dwindles, changing the dynamics of the relationship. This does not doom the relationship, but presents additional problems that couples closer in age are less likely to have.

I don’t believe that age differences should deter anyone from pursuing a love interest though, just that they should consider the extra work needed to have a lasting relationship. To make a relationship like that work, it is important you both understand the reasons you wish to pursue the relationship, are prepared to be understanding of generational differences and are prepared to handle outside criticism. Financial stability in older partners and the confidence boost attained from dating younger than you are not good reasons to date someone. It can also be hard to connect with someone who grew up in a different generation than you with different trends, events and societal structure. Maturity, patience and commitment are needed on both ends to make things work.

So how much of an age gap poses a problem? The rule of thumb in Western cultures, attributed to the French actor, Maurice Chevalier, is to avoid dating anyone under half your age plus seven years. Though if you’re a young college student in Louisiana, I’d advise you to pick someone who’s at least 17 for legal reasons. As for a good age range if you’re seeking an older partner, I would just apply the rule to the older person to see if you’re too young.
All of this being said, nobody should need to resort to some rule made up in the early 1900s to make a decision for them. The best tactic if you’re in this situation is to follow your heart and head simultaneously. Advice and suggestions are nice, but the best knowledge and perceptions are gained through experience.