Have you ever watched the news and heard sort of important political figures use terms that no one, except for someone with a Harvard law degree, could understand?Well, sports has its share of lingo, and unless you’re a true fan chances are you have no idea what half of those terms mean. In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I get red ink on my articles for using sports lingo because-let’s face it-my editor is sports-lingo impaired.

After realizing that many people don’t understand sports lingo, I decided to give our faithful readers a sports-flavored English lesson; so grab your pen and paper and start taking notes.

Barn burner-The term barn burner is not used to describe the actual burning down of a farming facility, but, instead, in sports terms is used to describe a really close game, not to be confused with a Bunsen burner.

Tight end-A tight end is more of a position than a term, but I can’t tell you the number of people that laugh when they first hear “tight end.” This is not the term used to describe Jennifer Lopez, but instead a position on a football team. Although I don’t really know why it’s called tight end.

Smash mouth-When I asked my editor what she thought smash mouth meant, her reply was “a band.” I hated to tell her, but she was nowhere on the same continent to being close. Smash mouth is the term used to describe running up the middle constantly and with success. Mike Ditka coined it during the Walter Peyton years, and he drafted Ricky Williams, so you know he knew what he was doing.

South paw-This term is used to describe a left-handed pitcher, not a polar bear from the South Pole. The term was coined in the 1800s when first base was on the left so hitters could look away from the sun.

Hat trick-I figured I would throw in a hat trick for hockey fans reading this. Upon first hearing “hat trick,” the name David Copperfield and a rabbit come to mind. Actually, a hat trick is when a player scores three goals in one game. The fans respond by throwing hats onto the ice.

Touch ’em all-This is in no way a sexual term. No part of the human body is actually touched during a baseball game. Touch ’em all is a “cool” way that ESPN says home run. If you want to be cool, then go around saying touch ’em all; you’ll be sure to impress the ladies.

Red zone-Believe it or not this does not describe body parts that come in contact with poison sumac. The red zone is the area inside the 20-yard line when a team is about to score. A good sentence to use in this case may say something like: The Saints lost the game because they failed to get anywhere in the vicinity of the red zone.

There are so many more sports terms that can be defined, but I only have so much room for this editorial.

It may have seemed ridiculous once, but now you can walk away and feel cool for knowing the true meaning of phrases and words like “touch ’em all” and “tight-end.” Besides, it’s more fun than being political.