Parking on campus is no fun. There are not enough spaces, and the closest lots fill up before eight every morning. Personally, I could not care about parking on campus because I do not own a vehicle. I hear the complaints daily about how irritating parking is and smile to myself knowing I do not have to deal with those problems. It is one of the very few perks that not owning a vehicle has to offer.In my life, the troubles of parking are replaced with troubles of finding a ride to and from campus everyday. I have come to consider myself as a master of these techniques. Following my simple guidelines will help keep you and your thumb comfortably tucked inside an air-conditioned vehicle.

Make Friends

Make friends with everyone within a half-mile radius of your residence. When I say make friends, I mean make Martha Stewart friends. Walk door-to-door and greet every neighbor with a smile, a kind word and a baked good. The quickest way to school is through a driver’s stomach.

Carry Cash

Offering to foot the gas bill is an easy (and sometimes expected) method of repaying a chauffeur. It is important to carry small denominations. Some sneaky drivers can take advantage of riders with fat pockets. Remember, it is only a short distance from your place to school, so do not get talked into paying more than you are worth. If you feel that the driver has gone out of his way to help you out, buy him a Big Gulp or a candy bar. The quickest way to school is through a driver’s stomach.

Plan Ahead

Know your schedule ahead of time, and when you need to be where. Ride inquiries are always received more positively the day before they are needed. It is also important to keep status on your chauffeur’s schedules because he/she will sell you out for a last minute date with the starting quarterback or head cheerleader without informing you first. Planning ahead will also give you time to prepare for the ride by purchasing candy for your driver to enjoy during the ride. The quickest way to school is through a driver’s stomach.

Be a Good Conversationalist

Keep up on current events. View popular movies. Listen to top-selling albums. Watch important sporting events. Do what ever you have to do to prepare for conversation. Your No. 1 priority during the actual ride is to avoid silence at all costs. If you are bored during the ride, the driver probably is too. So, talk it up. And, do not forget to ask your driver about their favorite things to eat. Because, the quickest way to school is through a driver’s stomach.