They’re everywhere. They may be in your home, in or on your car, in every tree, on every road sign or, most recently, all over the playing field.

For those who don’t know, I am talking about love bugs. We all know them, and we all hate them.

I was never fond of love bugs, but because I drive a white vehicle that now looks like a gravesite for these “kamikaze bugs of death,” I hate them even more.

Seriously, it seems like my vehicle is a magnet for these insects. I have washed them away, but just like kamikaze pilots on a suicide mission, they find my windshield and grill time and time again, killing themselves and a loved one.

I’ve been able to deal with it until recently when I began covering high school football for a local publication.

After sweating in the hot press box of a local high school for hours, which by the way made me realize how spoiled I am for Nicholls’ press box, I began to make my way to the field for the post-game interviews.

As I made my way to the coach, I found myself weaving and dodging my way around — you guessed it — love bugs.

Using moves only previously seen in the Matrix, I swatted my way around these pilots with orange helmets and was eventually successful in getting the interview done.

The walk back to my vehicle was even less enjoyable, but I think I finally mastered a way to get these bugs off.

If ever attacked by a love bug, all you need to do is shut your mouth. This reaction should be obvious, but even more so with love bugs. Think about it, no other creature to my knowledge eats love bugs. They are the anchovies of the bug buffet.

Once you’ve shut your mouth, proceed to wave both hands in front of your mouth, moving them up and down rapidly as if you have eaten a really hot pepper.

This technique helped me get to the coach to do the post-game interview and later to my vehicle in the parking lot.

I don’t know who sent these kamikazes this way, but I know they are able to ruin fun. All I can figure is that maybe it’s a cruel joke by some sports-hating mad scientist out to ruin the little fun I can have, and I assure you, he’s succeeded in his efforts.

A group of people in the office decided to tailgate for the first Nicholls home game and, right on cue, out came the love bugs. Try barbequing with 20 or 30 love bugs flying around your face. It’s close to impossible.

It’s amazing how these creatures pop up when they are not wanted, and believe me, they are not wanted at sporting events. If I wanted to be around a love bug, I’d open a love bug farm.

The sad part is no sport is immune to them. They often manage to fly indoors and disrupt these sports as well.

I had first-hand experience with this at a Nicholls volleyball game a couple years ago. I had a day off, so I decided to catch a volleyball game as a fan, not a reporter. I was ready for some volleyball, when all of a sudden I felt something land on my arm. Although it was only one, for one brief second this bug managed to take my attention away from the game just long enough for me to miss a great Nicholls kill.

Needless to say, that bug’s life tragically ended shortly after, and I went on to watch the game without any further worries.

Right now the bugs are worse than ever, so I urge all of my loyal readers to do as I do and not let them ruin the fun of sports. Although, if enough alcohol is involved, they may be welcomed. Regardless, it is important to show these bugs we shall overcome despite their presence, and sports will continue to prosper.