Those who tend to wax poetic say things like, “April showers bring May flowers.” In the drought of Spring 2006, those people could better spend their time waxing body hair. This April has been nearly the driest on record, just like the wax joke in the previous sentence.The forecast for May, however, is much different, with a high probability of various forms of precipitation: showers of tests, showers of due dates, showers with mildew, showers with cold water, and, at least for seniors, showers of tears and showers of praise.

Yes, graduation is right around the corner.

As I’m sure you’ll recall from your art appreciation course, it was Frank Lloyd Wright who advocated living “outside the box.” Of course, he never had six finals, three term papers, and a senior project all due in one week. Nevertheless, I am certainly sympathetic to the brutal captivity of seniors in their final push toward completing requirements. And for this reason, I will share with them some good, tried-and-true pieces of advice for use when in a few weeks they finally get a chance to actually leave the box.

So, seniors, in anticipation of May, and to be a bit flowery: These buds are for you.

Don’t fret over the cost of your senior year. We all know that seniors need the most books, the most supplies and the most lab fees. In 40 years, however, you’ll be a senior again and entitled to many discounts.

Don’t text message your friends during graduation. Nosy bystanders will think you actually spell the way you text, and then they’ll be questioning the whole educational system.

Don’t use party poppers at graduation. You’ll never hear your professors crack a smile.

Don’t drown in showers of praise, unless you’ve rented the more expensive graduation cap with snaps.

Don’t drink coffee or beer before graduation, unless you’ve rented the more expensive graduation gown with snaps.

Never wear your graduation tassel elsewhere than your cap. You can wear it wherever you want after the party starts.

Don’t forget to make your relatives cry at graduation. While doling out cash gifts with watery eyes, they tend to miscount the bills, usually in your favor.

Never sell or junk your tiny dorm room refrigerator. Remove the door, lay it on its back and lay the shelf over the open side. You’ll have yourself a nice, attractive outdoor barbeque pit that should last all the way through to your second job.

Never play Pedro at your new job. Keep it a Nicholls thing.

Never again say, “Do the math.” Because you never did your own when you had homework. Besides, when someone doesn’t understand your point of view, do you say, “Do the psychology”?

Never complain that your car burns too much gas because soon it will be burning 10 percent of your alcohol, too.

Never wear short sleeves to a job interview, at least not until after you’ve gotten that tattoo of the quadratic equation removed from your forearm.

Never forget you paid for a recreation center.

Never forget where and when you learned your fundamentals. You’ll lose that truck-driving job for sure if you say that single lines are for nouns and double lines are for verbs.

So, seniors of Nicholls, heed this advice and maybe you won’t be waxing so much. At least not floors or cars for a living. May it help you avoid the mayday and mayhem of May graduation and maybe beyond. May the force be with you.

Dr. John Doucet is an associate professor of biological sciences, director of the University Honors Program and an acclaimed local playwright.