Since my brain feels like it’s been soaking in formaldehyde after this weekend, I’ve decided to write something that I won’t need more than a few brain cells to compose and also something with less controversy than last week’s “Carnies,” even though it would be kind of fun to receive some more unsigned hate mail this week.
Anyway, this is a projective psychological test, which basically means answers to these questions are supposed to uncover deeper, unconscious motivations for things that are completely unrelated to the question being asked. This is a fun little test you can take now and torture your friends with later. So, pick up your pencil and let’s get started.
You have to complete the steps as you read them because it won’t work if you read the entire article first. Here’s what you do. First, you need a pen and a piece of paper. Write on the paper your favorite animal. This could be a specific animal that you know or just any animal in general, but you should pick one you like. Now, under that animal’s name, write three adjectives to describe it.
Next, write down your favorite color and three adjectives to describe it. If you’re having problems describing the color, just think about that color and how it makes you feel — this should help.
Last, write down your favorite body of water, from a droplet of rain on the sidewalk to a large ocean, it doesn’t matter; just write it down with three adjectives to describe it written underneath.
Finally, picture yourself in a white room with no windows or doors. No light can pass in or out and you are completely alone. Write one word to describe how you feel.
Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The answers to the first question represent how you view yourself. The second question represents how you want others to view you. The third question represents what you think about sex. And the last question represents what you think about death.
Keep in mind that this won’t work on everyone and not to read too deeply into the answers. It’s meant to be more a form of entertainment than a deep psychological analysis. So don’t go breaking up with your boyfriend or stop talking to your mom just because they have some weird answers. Just remember to be prepared for what you hear, because after all, you asked.