I know some students are filled with excitement and general delight when a professor announces there will be group projects. Lethargic students get the most excited because they are already aware they will be able to get a grade for doing next to nothing. That’s when the scramble to pair up with the nerdiest and most studious individuals in the class begins. These students are chosen mostly by their appearances: sitting in the front row, constant sucking up to the professor and an incessant need to speak up and answer questions in class discussions-this person is sometimes directly related to Mr(s). Senseless Question-Asker and Inane Remark-Maker.

Unfortunately, since professors here are not super-human and do not possess the ability to monitor each person’s participation on a project, it is almost impossible for a student who does nothing in a group to receive the grade he deserves. This is a problem that may never be solved.

The lazy student is not the only one at fault, however. The scholarly student is an enabler. Because the diligent student is in constant fear of receiving a B+ for once in his educational career, he takes it upon himself to complete most of the work alone without informing the other members of the group. That student then feels it necessary to tarnish the reputation of the other members because of the “lack of participation” on the project.

I know no student really enjoys group work, but some still take advantage of the situation. I think it’s time we cut the proverbial umbilical cords from which lazy students receive the nutrition that makes their grade point averages stronger.

Yes, I agree group projects are needed to present real-life experience to students, and it probably does help us grow in a social setting. However, we need to prevent these moochers from receiving the same grade the diligent students earned.

Maybe martial law is the answer. Maybe diligent students should begin tricking the unenthusiastic ones. Maybe the unacknowledged group members should give the diligent ones fake assignments to keep them preoccupied. Maybe these tricks should be cruel, amusing and aimed at not only failing the student on the group project but also at lowering the individual’s overall grade for the course. That would even the score, right?

If you are reading this article and find yourself saying, “Well, I never had any student in my group who did nothing,” there is a good chance that person is you, and every group you have been a part of has an unspoken malice directed towards you.

However, if you think you are the only one who ever does any work in a group, there is a good chance you never give your group members the opportunity to take any of the workload. You are a workaholic out of fear of making any grade that does not begin the alphabet.

Maybe one day we can all do group projects in harmony with each student pulling his or her fair share. I, personally, think it would be easier to abolish group work altogether, but I won’t hold my breath for either scenario.