I don’t have to tell you; you already know.Spring is here! You know what that means: warm weather, registration, taxes.

Like most, I had almost forgotten what it was like to go outside and sweat. “Outside,” I said. I sure remember what it was like sweating inside.

That is one of the most welcome aspects of spring for me, as I am sure it is for some of you: no more stiflingly steamy suffocating classrooms!

Why are our classrooms like this?

If it is 50 degrees outside, does it really have to be 80 plus degrees inside?

It seems as though all of my classrooms are like this, but for me Polk Hall is the worst. I know; I have two back-to-back classes in there.

It is very difficult to pay attention to what is going on in the classroom when you are busy fanning yourself with a folder (or a copy of the latest edition of The Nicholls Worth) in one hand while wiping sweat off of your face with the other. No wonder those are two of the classes I am doing most poorly in.

After 50 minutes of hallucinating, sweating, panting like dog and almost falling out of my desk, it is time to rush outside to get a much needed breather.

But you can’t simply walk outside of Polk Hall to get some fresh air. No, it takes more than that, unfortunately.

First, you must hold your breath. Then you open the door and power-walk several feet away from the building.

Finally, after breaking free of the legions of smokers who choke the entrance to the building, and absorbing enough smoke to make a steam locomotive jealous, you can release the chokehold on your nostrils and finally breathe the cool crisp air!

But before you know it, it is time to go back inside to go to your next class. The process is repeated, but this time in reverse.

Then comes another 50 minutes in Polk Sauna.

The practice of overheating the buildings results in some strange dress patterns.

“You’re not cold?” friends and acquaintances ask when seeing me standing outside of class in shorts and a T-shirt.

“Yes,” I kindly reply, “I am cold, but, you see, I would rather be cold and shiver out here for 10 minutes than be even more uncomfortable than I already will be when I go inside for hours of classes, where my comfort is important.”

Comebacks to this reply vary from “Oh” to “Gotcha” to “Yeah, you’re right.”

The increase in classroom comfort will help counteract the stress generally caused by the hassle of trying to register the classes you need and the race to keep pace with schoolwork in the approach to finals.

With all the work that has been piling up, I think T. S. Eliot was correct when he opened his epic poem “The Waste Land” by saying, “April is the cruelest month.”

It was certainly cruel last year when I wrote a 6,000 plus word term paper on how that same poem related to my life. The time I spent writing was no waste, however, as it met Dr. Middleton’s strict grading criteria.

What is a waste, however, is the thousands of dollars in public funds thrown away for the purpose of overheating buildings.

Oh, well. We can all cut loose at Guidry Stadium next week for Crawfish Day, the one day of the year when it seems like anything goes.

Who cares how hot and sweaty you get when you are wrist-deep in a pile of slimy, but delicious, crustaceans?

We can all fall back on air-conditioned classrooms. I hope I am not jinxing myself: I hope the air-conditioners don’t break next week.

Finally, I will not dread going to class, because class will be tolerable. Of course, as you all know, this reason is second to the fact that the semester is almost over and we are anticipating a quick departure.

Spring is a time of renewal, so I wwwwwwww

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Editor’s note: James Robichaux was unable to finish this article. He passed out due to the sweltering heat in The Nicholls Worth office.