Email forwards are horrible. It doesn’t make me feel like a special person to receive a forward from a friend who sent the same message to 25 other acquaintances. Could I please have a real message every once in a while? This said, I must confess that in moments of delirious temptation, I sometimes read the forwards before deleting them and sending them into the dark oblivion of email cyberspace.

It seems that I am “lucky” enough to be friends with 20 people who manage to find the time to forward at least three messages a day to all their friends. You know what I’m talking about.

You enter your log-in name and password. Your inbox shows that you have new mail. Your heart races in anticipation of a “real” message. The excitement builds as you open your inbox only to discover a cacophony of forwards and advertisements.

In the depths of despair about the lack of real email, you begin frantically deleting the forwards and advertisements, bitterly resenting the lack of a real message.

Well, in one of my forward deleting frenzies, I stumbled upon a forward that looked kind of funny. Being naturally inquisitive, I opened the forward titled “elevators” and stumbled upon, quite possibly, one of the funniest forward ever. Honest.

It listed 26 super funny things to do to people while riding in an elevator. While I haven’t tried any of the suggestion out yet, some of them seem absolutely hysterical.

Here’s just a few of the ideas. 1.) Call out “group hug!” then enforce it. 2.) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play. 3.) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

I think you get the idea. By the way, Nicholls will soon have a new elevator in Peltier – so feel free to explore your options.

But even without elevators, I’ve come up with a few things to do around Nicholls just to amuse yourself.

1. Scoot your desk really close to the person next to you in class and ask if they would like to borrow some deodorant.

2. Walk backwards all the way to class.

3. Deliberately walk into the wrong classroom at the same time every day. Make a scene and apologize for being in the wrong class. But do it on a consistent basis.

4. Sign your teacher’s name on the name blank on your test. Pretend like you thought your teacher wanted his name on the test, not yours. Make sure you do it for every test.

When people stare at you like you’re weird for doing these things, just ask them for their phone number. They’ll usually back off.