Emily Gros’s first day in the Controller’s Office is hectic to say the least. As soon as she assists a fellow student activate his classes, the phone rings again, almost before she can place the receiver back into its cradle. This student job is so different from her summer gig life-guarding and teaching swimming lessons. But her thoughts aren’t of the strong smell of chlorine or of children yelling “Marco Polo.” Gros is contemplating what she will wear tomorrow and how she will find enough time between when she leaves work at 4:30 p.m. and 5 p.m. check-in. She doesn’t want to ask to leave early on her second day of work. And also, should she buy a new outfit like some of her friends are? Gros wants to make a good first impression but not be overdressed.
“I will definitely be making some phone calls tonight,” she says, deciding the best way to blend in with the crowd may be to find out what her friends will be wearing.
Gros always knew she would want to go through sorority recruitment, but the week had snuck up on her. It seemed like just yesterday that she was playing volleyball and attending every Edward Douglaus White athletic event she could. Now, college would be arriving in one week.
Gros’s mom teases her about continuing her legacy in Delta Zeta whenever Gros coincidentally buys a pink and green outfit. But, her cousin was in Sigma Sigma Sigma, a sorority she knows has many E.D. White members.
“I still just don’t know which sorority I would like to belong in,” Gros says as she nervously fidgets in her chair. “I know people I like in just about every sorority, but just because I like them doesn’t mean I’ll like the majority of the sorority.”
Gros figures that sorority life is probably catty at times but has mostly heard positive feedback on the Greek system. She hopes recruitment will allow her to meet freshmen. After graduating from E.D. White, where everyone knew everyone’s backgrounds and grades, Gros is intrigued by meeting people from different states who didn’t grow up like she and her friends did.
But Gros is also scared. Scared that she’ll do one thing wrong and be out of that sorority’s consideration.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Gros says. “I want to meet new people, and I heard you stay close with your college friends. Being in a sorority, I would always have someone to call to do something with.”
But not all of her friends agree. Some believe she will just be paying for her friends. Others would join her but can’t afford it. Gros just hopes for something different from high school.
Gros joins 64 other potential new members Tuesday at Greek 101. Everyone in LeBijou Theatre is separated into groups of friends who already know each other. The chatter is soft among a room filled with a wide variety of college women. But Gros fits into the stereotypical sorority girl category. Her straight hair is long and dark. Her metallic gold purse accents her purple tank and deep brown skirt. Her bubbly personality resonates.
Gros is ready for the program to begin. She’s bored. She’s hungry. She’s ready to talk about more than class schedules and apartment rent. Gros and friends begin to guess which Rho Sigma belongs to which sorority. The nine Rho Sigmas, who gather around the front of the stage, disaffiliate from their sororities to help the potential new members through the recruitment process.
“If I had to name a single student organization that provides the most service, scholarship and leadership with high standards, I couldn’t pick any other group,” Judy Daniels, dean of student life, says to kick off the information session. “Don’t leave here with an unanswered question.”
And questions are the main attraction of the night.
“What do sorority members wear to class?”
“How many hours per week do sororities have mandatory functions?”
“Will I have enough time to make a good decision?”
“Can I wear colored jewelry with my white dress on bid day?”
“What’s the possibility that I won’t get invited back to any sorority?”
“Why do I have to bring white stockings for bid day?”
Rho Sigmas answer question after question while describing each night of recruitment. Gros sits with her arms crossed, leaning forward in her assigned group.
“I figured people knew most of this stuff,” Gros says. “I wouldn’t be the one to ask those questions. But yeah, a few of the questions were things I wanted to know, too.”
Gros hadn’t expected to join another campus organization, which is required by sororities, nor is she crazy about buying white stockings for bid day. She hasn’t even made time to buy a school bag yet. Gros is also disappointed she didn’t get to meet more girls.
“I expected more of a meet and greet,” she explains. “But we all just sat down which made it hard to go up and introduce yourself to someone new.”
Gros knows legacies typically stick with that sorority but thinks she will feel bad when she is forced to pick one over the other. “I don’t know what I’m expecting for the rest of the week. A lot has been thrown at me tonight. I’m afraid I just won’t be able to make a decision in time.”
Come the end of Aug. 17 night, Gros has her decision narrowed between Sigma Sigma Sigma and Delta Zeta. She begins the “Philanthropy Night” evening with the other potential new members, who are more talkative and definitely more nervous. Tonight they will meet the sorority members for the first time. Emily first attends the Phi Mu party, the first of the three parties of the night. But these aren’t toga-wearing, beer-drinking bashes reminiscent of “Animal House.” Instead they are information sessions where potential new members meet members of the various sororities and learn about their community service, leadership and values.
As Gros enters the Phi Mu party in the Plantation Suite, she is taken aback about the sorority members yelling chants and clapping their hands. She learns about their community service work and makes a puppet, which will be donated to the Children’s Miracle Network.
“They are really nice and very social,” Gros says. “Maybe it’ll sway my decision one way or the other, but I’m expecting all the parties to be the same.”
Outside the Polk Hall classroom where the Delta Zeta party is being held, Gros’s prediction appears to be correct.
“Delta Zeta…Delta Zeta is the one you should chose. Be a DZ girl, and you just can’t lose,” the members chant as Gros enters. Gros enjoys the more one-on-one conversation she has with the sorority members despite not learning as much about their philanthropy.
“This party was better for me,” Gros says with excitement in her voice. “They knew so much about me, and we had more to talk about. These are definitely girls I could go out with.”
Gros meets up with friends in other groups on her way to board the Nicholls bus for the Sigma Sigma Sigma party in the Century Room of the stadium.
“It’s amazing,” Keri Glad, another potential new member, says. “These girls work really hard and care about what you’re here for. I left both parties I went to with chills.”
“I know the girls try really hard to make you feel welcome,” Gros says. “They’re trying to impress us as much as we’re trying to impress them.”
The bus pulls up aside cars with windows painted with purple Sigma Sigma Sigma letters and sailboats. As soon as Gros enters the party, a sorority member stands next to her, and their snapshot is taken. Gros doesn’t know where to look next because she recognizes a majority of the members.
“Right now I’m undecided between Sigma Sigma Sigma and Delta Zeta,” Gros says as philanthropy night ends. “Today was so much better than yesterday.”
Gros arrives at WAC lab Thursday morning before going to Freshmen Institute. She finds out all three sororities have invited her back for that evening’s “Skit Night.” <
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Thursday night Jennifer Collins, Gros’s Rho Sigma, tells her group, “Tonight you need to start thinking of where you feel most comfortable. If you are not invited back tomorrow by your sorority of choice but by another one, consider that those girls want you so maybe you should give them a chance.”
While Gros is inside her first party, Sigma Sigma Sigma, Gabi Richard, a member of that sorority and Rho Sigma, listens outside the door.
“I’m nervous for my sorority,” she explains. “I’m excited for these girls because the whole week is exciting. It’s nice to be able to see the whole picture and be neutral through the process.”
Richard gets teary-eyed as she hears her sorority sing “Now and Forever.” Inside the room, Gros’s eyes are also watering. She can hear girls sniffling.
“Even though their Power Point didn’t work, they told us a lot about their sorority and were goal oriented,” Gros says. “This will be a hard sorority to beat.”
Gros joins her group waiting outside the Delta Zeta party. Some of the girls start dancing in line as they hear the sorority singing “We are Family.” Gros finds the atmosphere in the Delta Zeta room more laid back and fun. But a lot of the members she meets didn’t go through this same recruitment process.
“Our conversations were more getting to know each other,” Gros explains. “A lot of the members I met were older and had waited until they started college to join. That made things different for me.”
Gros’s decision gets more difficult after she attends Phi Mu’s skit. The potential new members exit the skit with serious faces, some trying to dry tears. The skit centered on a bride remembering her college days, and the potential new members were the “wedding guests.”
“I think I can rule DZ out,” Gros says. “My two top sororities last night are not the same tonight. I never thought this would happen.”
Gros speaks with her mom after skit night comes to a close about possibly not selecting her sorority. Friday morning, Collins calls Gros. Gros has been invited back by all three sororities for preference night. She can only pick two to attend. Gros selects Phi Mu and Sigma Sigma Sigma.
“My mom doesn’t really care; she just wants me to have fun,” Gros says. “She said it was good for her at the time, but that doesn’t mean it’s best for me.”
At Phi Mu’s preference party, Gros sees a part of that sorority’s ritual and speaks with their president, Allison Leonard. “Both of our boyfriends attend LSU,” Gros says. “She goes to Baton Rouge a lot. That was something I was concerned about, but I’m also glad to know Phi Mu always has something you can do when you just want to stay in Thibodaux.”
At Sigma Sigma Sigma’s preference party, Gros is paired up to talk with someone she knows, a former volleyball teammate. They catch up more than they speak about the sorority itself. But Gros’s bubbly personality quickly changes into a nervous one. She can see herself fitting into either sorority.
“I really don’t know what to think,” she explains. “I know what people think I should do, and I know what I think I should do. But, I’m scared. I wish it were black and white, but it’s not.”
All the potential new members meet up in the snack bar area of the student union to fill out preference cards. Each woman must rank the sororities. Most begin to line up to fill out their cards. Others speak with the Rho Sigmas about their decision. They are not supposed to disclose to other potential new members how they have ranked the sororities.
Gros sits alone at a table. Collins and other Rho Sigmas surround her to talk her through the decision process. The snack bar area is nearly empty, and Gros has yet to make her decision. She decides to go with her gut and ranks Phi Mu first.
But when Gros speaks to her high school friends, she learns they all ranked Sigma Sigma Sigma first. Not knowing what to do, she calls up Collins saying she wants to change her preference card. She can’t.
The next morning, dressed in white and awaiting her bid, Gros barely speaks.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she says, still unsure of whether she should accept a bid from Phi Mu or wait until the spring to go through open recruitment with Sigma Sigma Sigma.
The potential new members line up to receive their bids cards. The hallway is quiet, and even a stranger could feel the nervous tension in the air. One-by-one the women return with smiles across their faces and bid cards firmly gripped in hand. Cell phones are pulled out to share the news.
Finally, Gros walks out with her envelope. A bid from Phi Mu. One she will accept and is proud to accept.
“I feel good. I’m glad I did it. I don’t know all the girls rushing in Phi Mu, but I guess I’ll try it out,” Gros says.
“You come from 10 minutes away, Emily,” Collins tells her. “Now you’ll get to meet dozens of new girls here.”
Gros spends the rest of Aug. 20 with her new sorority sisters. She admits that the process has been a lot harder than she thought it would be.
“I feel that I went with the sorority that will offer me the most wide range to make new friends,” Gros says. “I second guessed myself and started freaking out when I heard my friends were all going to be in Tri-Sigma, but we’re still going to be friends. This may even make us closer.”
Times are changing. Stereotypes are being challenged. Gros says she knows about preconceived notions that Phi Mu is not as good as the other two sororities and not as popular. But college women such as herself are not just going with the norm anymore.
Gros knows she could have chosen to follow in her mother’s Delta Zeta footprints or join her E.D. White classmates in Sigma Sigma Sigma. But instead she has chosen to create her own path in Phi Mu. Maybe it’s not the one she expected. But one where she believes she belongs.
