Hot Takes: Understanding the madness that is March

It’s that time of the year again. There’s an extra hour of daylight, midterms are just beginning and basketball brackets are busted day in and day out. It’s the month of March. Coming about once a year, March is the third of twelve months in the ol’ Gregorian Calendar, and arguably both the worst and best month of the year (which has nothing to do with it being my birthday month).

In all honesty, with the hustle and bustle of the spring semester in full swing, it may be difficult to keep up with things between school, work, family and friends. Oh, and to top it all off, the biggest and most prominent collegiate basketball tournament, where 64 teams are all vying to be crowned national champion, just so happens to start at the beginning of March, too.

There’s a whole lot going on there. However, I’m not here to discuss the NCAA and the headline is what it is, because I value the clicks it will bring over craft and wit. So, sue me. But the reality of the situation is that March is an awful month, disguised as the beginning of spring. March low-key sucks, and only exists to further separate us all from the glorious joy that summer brings us.

First, let’s talk about the weather. Since all known laws of meteorology cease to exist during spring in Louisiana, we are treated to nice breezy mornings, scorching hot afternoons and humid evenings, all while harboring constant fear of a random freeze, heat wave or torrential downpour. It’s basically like living in a house with a broken thermostat, where you take whatever weather you’re dealt. It is what I would call misery, but then again, maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion.

Second, schoolwork is vaulted into maximum overdrive, all because we’re halfway through a semester. I, for one, am totally and undeniably in favor of abolishing midterms and vaulting all naysayers into space, strapped to a Tesla roadster. Why must professors feel the need to pile on assignment after assignment, test after test, all in the name of loyalty to their beloved midterm grades?

It’s a miserable concept when 99.9999% of college students are just racing towards the end, and are solely focused on their final grades, regardless if they have a D in music appreciation, halfway through the semester.

Finally, the sole reason for the months of spring are to buffer us between Christmas break and summer break. No more and no less. It’s a worse semester than the fall, but arguably both semesters are equally bad if you’re just not that into furthering your education through college and stuff like that.

And by default, March is the worst spring month because it can also double as a winter month. Yes, what better feeling is there when you finally believe you’ve escaped the harsh clutches of a frozen winter when BOOM, here’s more cold, wet, rainy weather. Absolutely disgusting, if you ask me.

Normally, the end part here would be used to tie everything together and impart some sort of valuable wisdom or knowledge. I’ve got nothing for you guys really. March is getting the best of me, and we’re only halfway through it. Enjoy your March, if you’re into that sort of thing. I wish you good grades, wonderful weather and a perfect bracket.